Saturday, October 11, 2014

Dear Friend,

I have a friend. (yeah, shocker, isn't it?!) My friend and her husband are in the very final stages of adopting two kiddos with special needs from another country.  She been on my mind incessantly and I want to tell her some things.  So I thought I'd tell her and others just like her -  loudly and boldly on my blog.  

Dear Friend, 

I am so freaking excited and happy for you!  I cannot even begin to convey my level of enthusiasm. You are a wonderful mama to the kids you have already and that wonder will grow with the new additions to your family.  I am so proud of you. You have persevered through many adversarial trials to answer the call God has sent.  

I want you to know some things.  I need you to remember these things on the bad days, months, years.  

  • God's ways are not our ways.  He has called you to parent these beautiful children.  He knows the strife and the beauty that lie ahead.  Never ever question His calling.  You were created to be the mama to these kids.  There will be times when that feels too big and you feel too small. Get over it.  He's got your back.  ;-)  
  • Live in the present.  Don't let your mind reside in the past where your kids were, where you were.  Now is so precious.  Yesterday will steal today's joy. 
  • Never be afraid to ask for help.  You WILL need help.  We all need help.  Help is good!
  • Stay connected.  This life is so isolating.  You are going to be attachment parenting the first months and in order to give all for your kids, you will need to stay filled up yourself.  Call. Write.  Send carrier pigeons or smoke signals.  Please, stay connected to those that fill you.
  • It's okay to avoid the nay-sayers.  You know, those people that think you are insane.  They may be close or far away, and you may love them dearly, but right now you need supportive and helpful people surrounding you.  It's okay to back away from Negative Nancys for a while.
  • Feelings are good things, even when they aren't good feelings.  Your emotions do not control you. You are allowed to feel any emotion that happens along. Don't ever feel guilty for feeling. Feeling is good.  Not feeling is bad.  
Oh my dear friend, your journey is just beginning and it's such an honor to have a front row seat.  I will never fully comprehend your journey and how you got here as our paths have been a bit different.  However, please always know that I will stand with you.  I will pray with you. I will cry with you.  I will fight along side you.  I will just be...

With love and grace, 

If anyone out there in cyber-world would like to read more about my friend's journey and help them reach their fully-funded status please visit them at  They leave in just a few weeks to get their fabulous children!!  

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